"Tip # 11. Even if your family thinks there's going to be a marriage, don't let them spoil your guy. Yes, he's grateful you gave him your car when he moved out of NYC, but he would rather have had to work for it."I think the point of being supportive by not being too supportive is important. Letting him work/figure it out is a great teaching tool. Unfortunately, your family may not understand this and there really isn't much you can do about it.
Dealing with the relationships and the interactions between your family and your significant other is one of weirdest games you will ever play. It's such a flip floppy game. They hate her until she offers to help clean the kitchen. The love him until he spends the entire road trip asleep in the backseat.
You can't pick your family or control how they are going to react/treat the person you're with. Warning/threatening them may work for a while, but it only takes a second for something to happen that can change the dynamics of any relationship.
FOR EXAMPLE: I was meeting for the first time my ex-GF's mother, who was waiting for us at the front entrance of the building. I was casually walking behind her taking my time to practice pronouncing her last name. My GF was four steps ahead of me and turned the corner to the front before I did. As I reached the turn she came rushing back and shoved me back down the hall. Why? Because her mother brought her grandfather with her and with his views of colored people this would not be the right time to meet. Though surprised, I agreed with her and bowed out gracefully. I never met the man, but a careful explanation before the incident may have been a positive mark on our relationship.
So how do you avoid letting them spoil your guy? You don't. (Tough luck.) You just need to explain to your guy the dynamics of your family and how they usually treat your boyfriends. Whether its a bad or good thing, giving him a better understanding of the situation will help him navigate the storm, especially when you're not around.
He'll either sink or swim, cause you're not preventing forest fires. You're teaching him how to stop, drop and roll.
"You can't pick your family, just your friends."
Brandy Talk About Our Love
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(This is part 11 of the "31 Things" series inspired by the article, "Things I Wish I'd Known About Dating When I was 21".)