"Tip # 10. They might take a decade to mature. Don't hope they'll grow up or be ready in the next six months."Unfortunately this is true, but not true in the sense that the guy sitting across from you should been seen as being 5 years younger than he really is. BUT that parts of him are a little undercooked and will need that extra five minutes. What do I mean by parts? Well...
His lifestyle... maybe he likes playing video games and eating cereal for every meal. At some point he will no longer have the time or be in the target market that these games are made for and will loose interest. Encourage (don't force) him to limit his playing time. If you want him to eat something besides cereal. Make him try new things by cooking for him. Invite him to help you chop things in the kitchens. Guys like knives, plus if you're half naked how can he not be in there?
His money... unless he's a trust fund baby or riding the coattails of his parents, his money will not even be young money. He'll be lucky to be making more than 45k a year before he's 30 and if he went to college, chances are his school loan debt is eating right through it. So don't expect him to buy you a car, a house or even an engagement ring worth 6 months of his salary. If he does. Either he fucked up big time (thanks Kobe) or he REALLY likes you more than he should. Just encourage him to hangout with an older gentleman who is doing what he wants to do. This is called a mentor and the mentor has connections to higher paying jobs.
His habits... does he wear the same clothes for three days in a row? Does he rock the jersey all weekend every weekend even during the off season? Does his elbows sit firmly on the dinner table? Well, tough. I often feel that these take longer to change, because people are comfortable in their own skin, but you can help him change little by little. Step one, don't berate him about it. This builds wall. Step two. Take him shopping and together pick out wardrobes you both like. Step three. Shower him with compliments when he does something right. Things like, "It makes you look tough," or "Wow, you look so sexy in that outfit," will eventually get to his head and he'll make the connection.
His friends... yeah, even the ones you don't like won't always be around. As life rolls on people's paths change and sometimes you loose touch with even with the foul mouth ones. Your best bet is to not to talk bad about his close friends. The people who were around before you. Now everyone else, you can warn him about or express your distaste a few times, but eventually you will have to let it go. All you can do is try new things together and be friendly in new group settings. Maybe he'll make new friends and if you like them, you can invite them out for him... hoping they'll hit it off. Guys like guys who are living similar paths in their life or into similar things. Plus guys rank each other and until rank has been established they can't be friends, so don't introduce him to someone who might make more money than him or is taller. Just a thought.
Well, my new look on life not only challenges you to truly love him, but to be dedicated to your beliefs about relationships. Which I hope includes being dedicated to him, which will require patience and helping him grow as a person.
If you can't stand the heat. Get out of the kitchen.
"I once heard that on average, men are five years less mature than their actual age. Hence, an eighteen-year old may still tell immature sexual jokes that we would tell on the playground; a twenty-three year old may still drink like he’s underage; a thirty-year old may be going through life choices that women would have dealt with five years earlier." -- Why Men Mature Slower Than Women
Act your age, please. Thanks.
Taylor Sisters - Girls Grow Up Faster than Boys Do
(This is part 10 of the "31 Things" series inspired by the article, "Things I Wish I'd Known About Dating When I was 21".)