Happy Birthday to me....

My birthday was this yesterday, so this is my Birthday/Christmas List:
Hooded Sweatshirt (Really Cool Looking)
300 (The Movie) - DVD
i-Pod Touch
Long Sleeve T-Shirts
Room Heater
iTunes Gift Cards
Trump: How to Get Rich
The Warren Buffet Way, 2nd Edition
Titans Jersey (Thanks girlfriend!!)

We're all getting old these days. Well what have I learned these past 24 years. Well life is too short to do what other people say. In the end its up to you. I'm not saying don't listen to them. I'm saying its your life.

Man, I hate getting sick. Its too draining. When you were a kid you could stop for a moment and spend a couple of days in bed. Now. I can't afford to get sick. I still have to get up and go. I get to stay in bed only if it is sooo bad that I can't move. At that point. Even breathing hurts. So for some words of wisdom. If you start to feel it. Take some Airborn. That stuff really works.

I feel like I failed my Little. Sorry bro. I should have been there when they said no. I should have been there when it felt like they turned their backs. I should have gone with you.

My sister's surgery is during the week after Thanksgiving. More to come later. Please keep her in your prayers. The hard part is coming up.

Kanye's new Mix Tape rocks! Let me know if you want a copy.

Peace.

Bittersweet Poetry

"If the next generation of black filmmaking proves successful in uniting America through the power of cinema, then it will be a life worth living and movie ticket worth paying for."

It's my newest favorite quote. Just had to post it somewhere.

In the mornings I watch Cartoon Network's "My Gym Partners a Monkey" and seriously its one of my favorite shows right now. I'm such a kid. "Pokemon" on saturdays. No lie. They started playing the old episodes (like when Pokemon first came out). Good times. Surprisingly my girlfriend watches it with me. Cartoons are happy. I could use happy.

I don't eat. I don't sleep. Something is not right about this. I just have less then a year. I tell myself. Some how I must go on. It's not even an option anymore. I can't quit. Whatever is on the other side better for me and everyone in my life. I know it. I feel it. There is more then one way to climb a mountain but this is the best way. What excuses and lies do I make up for me to continue to dig this hole? Is it not about the end but the journey? Then my friend it has already been worth it.

Just celebrated my one year anniversary with my girlfriend. It doesn't feel like a year and of course its my longest relationship. Right now she's one of the few people that actually gets me. Sees what I do and what monsters I fight. She knows all my hopes and dreams and I tell her everything. It's cold out here and she's keeping me warm. Also I'm a lot more foolish when she's not around. I hope at the least I do the same for her.

Good music to download....
"Waiting In Vain" - Bob Marley
"Hospital Beds" - Cold War Kids
Any song by the classic rock band - Can

My sister is doing well. She's having the surgery. I don't know when yet. I'm going home for those days. It gets easier to process once I understand the situation. I'm kind of saving all the emotion for later and keep it positive for now. We don't call her Champ for nothing.

Ah yes the skies are getting darker and the trees are finally turning colors. It must finally be fall. Oh my. I love Halloween. The parties are great and its always good to see the GMU Pi Kapps. Besides everyone shows a little creativity. My favorite was the people I saw in the street dressed up as the cast of Harry Potter. I mean everyone! It was 20 people walking down the street dressed up like they just stepped out of the movie. So sweet. Also 2nd place goes to the Mario Kart group picture I found online. 3rd the female 300 Spartans. So hot though there was only two of them.

So my Mom calls me selfish. I'm not sure what she meant so I guess I'm selfish. She's one of those people in your life that everything she says is wisdom, even if you choose to listen to her or not. I went to AU because of her. I have a real job because of her. I might as well have her arrange my marriage. Anyway...the point is I feel trapped and confused and honestly its not that I don't care. It's that I feel like I grew up and no one else realizes it. It's almost like being a pre teen and trying to do things on your own only to have your parents send you to bed at 8pm. My house. My rules. (There is so much I can say at this point so I'm going to try and just spit it out. If I forget something or don't cover a point correctly. I'm sorry.) I grew up in a box. My family went to a church for 20 years. I was home schooled. We thought one way and lived one way. I was sheltered and lied to. Some of us still refer to the whole experience as being in a cult. I still believe the good times were real and the people I met are real too. Well like I said it was box. People trying to control the vertical and the horizontal and you lived in it. Well I'm not in it any more and haven't been it for a while. I understand why my parents did what they did and it was a success to a point. They sacrificed and did what they felt was right. I thank them. It made me...me. Gave me a different angle on life (which I can use in my films.) What I'm trying to get at is that people are people and what I assumed to be as a kid was mostly wrong. Its like watching a Disney movie ten years later and picking up on all the adult humor that you missed as a kid and how racist these films really are. My favorite line so far is when Jasmine's father states that her mother wasn't that picky. I laughed out loud. Man is man and you should always remember that. A lot of the issues we face are self made issues. The pits we're in were dug by us. Surprise! You reap what you sow! It's not that I don't care its that I'm not going to worry about it. You do you and I will do me. The love doesn't change. People don't change. I expect to get to the top no matter what and I will pull my family out of most of their holes. I will do for this family what most of my uncles have failed to do. I will lead, unite and care for. Everyone is trying their best, no doubt, but no one is on time. I'm sorry that I care about being on time. I'm sorry I care about being diligent. Of course I fail at it too but I will get to it before you do. I will clean up after myself, fix broken things and teach myself what I need to know. I have bills to pay and I work a lot. I don't get many free weekends. Am I doing too much. Yes. It is my fault. Buy I am not free enough to take care of two homes and pay for two household bills. It doesn't mean I don't care. It means I'm 24 years old trying to be the first kid in our family to really make it on their own.

Please father teach me to lead. Peace.

PS> A whole year and I still realize how much I don't know about her, her family, relationships and love. So for all my trapped married friends....wow. God be with you and remember even professional athletes have coaches.

Strawberry Fields

Peter's Principle #3: "Never invest in any idea you can't illustrate with a crayon."

I've spent the hours that I ride the bus back and forth from work reading books mostly about finance. This is probably one of the best quotes from this year's reading list. I just wanted to put it out there.

Lately I've had trouble writing my notes. I've been too tired. To unfocused on the simple things. I miss it. Putting my ideas down for myself to read later. I documented so much of my college life. So I thought why not continue. Why not prove how much I suck. I'm so emo.

Football. (Sorry I'm just not that into baseball) Fantasy Football is not my friend right now. I'm in two leagues and I'm choking. Also it was slightly annoying that Payton Manning was in that many commercials last year but now this year. Its just beyond stupid annoying. TOO MANY!! Seriously, I will refuse to buy products that he promotes. Besides Tom Brady is Jesus.

I just want to say to that pretty girls make the world go round. I just want to thank you for brightening my classes, bus rides and web surfing. If you are a pretty girl pat yourself on the back. If you used to be. Well....shit happens. Get over it.

Have you noticed on the classic Star Trek episodes that the women are smoking hot. Maybe its just the lightening but I'm usually impressed. I mean seriously the original Star Trek is about frat guys in space, but wow...to be Kirk with all those hot mamas.

Does anyone have great stories about their perfect one night stands? I'm writing a short film about it. Hopefully I will get to make it for class. Come on someone be my MUSE!

I'm thinking about switching my cell phone plan from AT&T to Verizon. Please let me know if you have Verizon or not cause who I call the most will play a major factor. Oh...and my current phone is broken. I can't answer calls. So leave a message or text me. Right now my best form of contact is Facebook. Isn't that sad.

Well I had lunch at Chipotle with an old friend last week. It was good to see her since it had been a couple of years. The conversation was more questions and answers then anything else. I guess its something I should expect. Its about catching up and not so much experiencing life together. How are things? Good I guess. I thought about how it would have gone if we were both single. I'm sure something about meeting up later would have been offered. A chance to walk down memory lane, yet in that moment. It didn't cross my mind. We're truly friends.

I like how I tried to go to bed at 1am and then Cowboy Bebop comes on. Great. Now I have to stay up and watch this. So irresponsible. I stay up too late, therefore I am tired.

I'm upset with some of my ex girlfriends right now. You guys are not taking care of yourselves or playing like champs and its making me look bad. Most guys appreciate it when another guy points out a chick and you're like yeah I used to date her and he high fives you. It's not a good thing when people find out that we used to date and they laugh at me. Claiming that I lost respect points with them or that I have no taste in women.

Reason #42 - She's the kind of girl you can bring home to mom.

For all you haters out there. You don't get it. I get along with her. I want spell it out for you but I think its a waste of my time. You're too quick to judge and I shouldn't point out your flaws. Its unfair. In the end...what you think really doesn't weigh much. It's a relationship between two people. Not 400.

My birthday is less then a month away. I'll be 24. Peace.


PS> When I heard about the news. All I wanted to do was give you a hug. The world seems too small these days. How fragile we are, yet I see brother you are strong. My prayers are with you.

Welcome my October

"Spock's Beard - A slang expression used mostly by Star Trek fans to indicate a concept that's so outlandish as to belong to another, warped universe. The term originates with the episode Mirror, Mirror of the Star Trek original series, where four Enterprise officers are exchanged with their counterparts in an alternate universe; the alternate version of Spock has a goatee." - Wikipedia

On Sunday, in the background I had a NFL game playing loudly. The announcer said something I thought I would never hear. "Next week...they play the undefeated Green Bay Packers." I was instantly sent into shock. I guess hell will be freezing over soon and I thought, "Spock's beard!"

Well this is the part where I suck it up and die trying. I've been too busy. Like at the point where you miss family events and stand people up who you were supposed to meet with weeks ago. I wake up sore and tired these mornings. Even right now I'm sore. Thanks to a diving interception I had at football practice last saturday my knees are killing me. I'm not sure Pi Kapp Mountain Day is a good idea, so I may need to train this week. Fellas, we're getting old and its only a sign that I cannot let my foolishness get the best of me.

I just want to say that the Jimmy Kimmel and Matt Damon gags have been hilarious. I love them so much. Such boyish humor.

NEW MUSIC MONDAY: Well sort of. I'm a little slow. Feist, you know the woman from the nano ipod commericals. "1...2..3..4..?" Well, thanks to MTV2 I saw the music video months ago and loved it. Music videos filmed in one take are the best. I LOVE Feist. She's bringing sexy back to Canada. Her music is amazing. Basically she is doing her own thing and rocking at it. But seriously "Let It Die" is one of those albums you should have bought like two years ago. My favorite song right now is "One Evening" and I've been watching the music video on repeat. I'm even writing a script based off the music video! Wow that's crazy! Yeap, so go buy here new album, "The Reminder." You won't be disappointed.
http://www.myspace.com/feist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqVKOilZO2A

I shot another film this past weekend. 16mm black & white. Once again the reasons to shoot with video out weigh the reasons to shoot with film. I'm sure everything will come out great, but when you are shooting action packed Pakour chase scenes you need more then two cameras! Film is expensive video is not.

Well, today is the 11 month anniversary of my relationship with my girlfriend. Pretty soon I will have to buy her something expensive and still have to take her out to dinner. Oh what fun. We celebrated this morning over microwaveable breakfast sandwiches with OJ and toast. Honestly, it doesn't feel like its been 11 months. I'm having too much fun. I was looking back at my past relationships wondering why they couldn't break the 3 month barrier. I guess it takes two to tango and when one party is just not that interested in a relationship, people get bored and leave. You got to want to seriously try. I guess I'm just looking forward to simpler days where the bull shit of being young doesn't affect the morals of others. Right now I'll just continue to enjoy her company and input in my life. Life is too short to make things complicated and she's perfectly simple enough for me. I hope I am for her.

Let's go Titans.

Peace.


PS> Keep praying for the Ladybug.