"Tip # 7. It's better not to lift a finger in the beginning."The idea isn't to play hard to get. That's a great game before things get started. It's like flexing your muscles before a race or during warm up in order to psych out the other team. Not lifting a finger in the beginning is about not bending over backwards to make it work. Letting him come to you.
Let him plan the first few dates. Let me him buy mostly everything on those dates. Text him once first for every time he texts you twice first.
The idea is to not push things too quickly yourself. If he wants you. He will go out of his way to chase you. Spend time with you. If you do all the work and make it too easy, why should he ever need to take the initiative OR maybe he doesn't even see the sacrifices that you're making to spend time together. EXAMPLE. When I first started dating one of my ex's I would always try to hangout with her whenever I had free time. I worked a lot and was taking classes at night, so without me realizing it. She started scheduling her life around my schedule. To me, it seemed like our schedules matched up and we had time to spend together. To her, she was doing all this extra work to make things work. Eventually, she got tired of doing this and brought up the issue, which was a complete surprise. She did too much work in the beginning to make things work. I didn't have to chase her too much, which isn't good.
I know you want to see the guy and spend time with him, but you need to let him put in a little extra effort.
"Still, regardless of how shy or socially awkward he might be, stripping a man of this task subsequently strips a woman of one of natures inherent bitchassness filters. I mean, how the hell is he going to be able to protect you from lions and tigers and crackheads and sh*t if he wasn’t even able to muster a meek “hi” while in the meat line at giant eagle?" -- Sadie’s Suspect: Four reasons why women shouldn’t pursue men
God, I love this song.
Janet Jackson Spending Time With You
(This is part 7 of the "31 Things" series inspired by the article, "Things I Wish I'd Known About Dating When I was 21".)